@pattymo: Sinbad isn’t just a comedian’s name - it’s also an extremely short summary of The Bible
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@thenatewolf: There are so many people outside, and so much yelling, and I genuinely genuinely don't know if it's a murder or a rare Pokemon.
@Jdydrcy: 6 year old wouldn't drink out of my cup because she doesn't want my "DNA". Should I tell her?
@TheKenyan_: Ways to make your woman happy. 1. Cook for her. 2. Surprise her with hugs & kisses. 3. Hide a lion in her apartment then rescue her.
@Brenton_Rodgers: Only in math problems can you buy 60 cantaloupes and nobody asks what the hell is wrong with you.