@ObscureGent: Since 1994 my New Year resolution has been the same. Don't get murdered by Courtney Love.
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@HMittelmark: If somebody at a party tells you they're a writer, get excited, hold up the nearest book, and ask, wide-eyed, "DID YOU WRITE THIS?"
@dafloydsta: [first date] ME: I'm having a great time HER: I'm not ME: *peeking out from my pillow fort* I don't even let my dog in here, Janet