@nicfit75: Since getting the new iPhone with fingerprint unlock technology I've never worried so much about losing my thumb.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@JohnHilsen: My "friend" Adam gave me an electric toothbrush for my birthday. Completely unnecessary. My gas-powered toothbrush still runs fine, "Adam."
@bridger_w: It's Saturday night and I just saw a guy with a ponytail and tinted lenses. Somewhere, a tarantula is home alone