@krissywillbretz: Since I'm wearing a white top, I'm going to go ahead and eat this meatball hoagie while I drive.
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@StayNobody: [Drug deal] How do I know you're not a cop -If I was a cop would I do this? *Starts breakdancing* Thats not as much proof as you think it is
@prttylttleditty: Twitter is where the nerds from highshool shine because we know how to use correct grammar, metaphors, & sarcasm correctly. And we can read.
@KalvinMacleod: As the pair of scissors steps up to the starting line, the other runners quickly realize that this race just got a whole lot more dangerous.
@WilliamAder: If your kid eats the chocolate bunny's feet first, "so it can't get away," that's your future serial killer right there.