@bryanmcc74: Since joining twitter I've started 2 new collections .......... Dust and cobwebs !
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@chuuew: ME: hi handsome, is this seat taken? BUS DRIVER: yes, but you could literally sit anywhere else
@Mr_Kapowski: Me: I'm in the mood for dessert *winks at wife* [2 hours later] Wife: *in lingerie, texts* WHERE R U Me: *texts* Getting ice cream. Y?
@VVanGone: I'm around a bunch of people right now remembering why I don't like being around a bunch of people