@bryanmcc74: Since joining twitter I've started 2 new collections .......... Dust and cobwebs !
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@shatterpants: When I go to Subway I always bring a pair of pants that are 10 times to big for me and high five all the workers.
@NicCageMatch: I accidentally killed another cactus & now one of my plants is trying to grow towards the phone to call 911.
@leontymccarthy: I always hold the door for ladies, but they never seem to get in the car when I do that.