@bryanmcc74: Since joining twitter I've started 2 new collections .......... Dust and cobwebs !
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@TEXASVETERAN: Finishing up my time machine. Bolting down the flux capacitor now. I'll start small and go back a couple of seconds just to see if it works.
@Smethanie: I bet Ryan Gosling doesn't even blow his candles out. He probably just winks at them and they faint.
@joejwest: [jail] ME: I want my phone call COP: Ok. Make it count ME: [dials payphone] [cop's mobile rings] COP: Hello? ME: Please let me go