@fraktal8: Since wine is made from grapes its technically accurate to say I did a fruit juice cleanse for New Years Eve.
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@Smooheed: Stop screaming! I thought you'd appreciate having someone to pass you a towel when you got out of the shower
@whatmaddness: Confetti is shot outta cannons at my funeral. Everyone picks through it wondering why it doesn't look right. "Oh god. Are these her bones?!"
@thenatewolf: *holding my crying child* Me: I know, earthquakes are scary. So maybe next time you'll be good and I won't have to make that happen again.