@TheTweetOfGod: Since yesterday was the National Day of Prayer, today must be the National Day of Disappointment.
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@Brentweets: "Do you need help with your math homework Billy?" "Yeah I sure do Dad!" "Well you're shit out of luck"
@thejodiest: Please don't directly insult people on Twitter. Use passive aggressive, indirect insults only, like a damn adult.
@SoVeryBritish: Procedure for being unthanked for door holding: 1. Keep eyes fixed on culprit 2. Say you're welcome 3. Shake head 4. Mutter "unbelievable"