@shutupmikeginn: Sing me a song you're the piano man / clean out my pool you're the gardener /now light up my room you're a ceiling fan
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@SteveKoehler22: When your wife asks you to dig a hole for her shrub- She'll feel threatened if you make it large enough to hold a body. I know this now.
@iwearaonesie: wife: You're going to work like that? me: Yeah, it's casual day [20 minutes later] *calls wife* me: Can you bring me a shirt?