@deenasjoint: Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed...while married women come home see what's in the bed and go to the fridge.
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@TheWoodenslurpy: I bet dogs at parties get tired of being singled out by socially awkward humans.
@NotBachibawlz: Carried 9 oranges up to the cashier and she says "Ya want a box for them?" "I was willing to pay" I said "but I guess we can fight for em"
@mostunladylike: *holds pen ready* "How many zeros in one million?" "Six" "Ok, thanks" *writes milli000000n*