@deenasjoint: Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed...while married women come home see what's in the bed and go to the fridge.
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@numbertze: I eat my pizza with a knife and fork because I am from a big family, and you need weapons to protect your food at all times
@online_rat: sorrey im bad with names. im also bad with faces,, i put my grandma in a headlock, thinking she was the kid that stole my bike in 3rd grade
@TheTweetOfGod: One Mississippi... two Mississippi... just kidding! One Mississippi is quite enough.
@happily_dad: Dear neighbors, I am not killing my child. I'm washing her hair. Only she sees it the other way.