@YesThatAmy: Sir, I cannot take you seriously. You're wearing capris. Capris. CAPRIS.
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@MiddleageM: Skyped my dad today and had a great conversation with his forehead and nose hairs...
@StevieKnip: [accidentally hits Siri in high school classroom] Siri: what can I do for you, #1 God of Sex? [every boy in the class checks their phone]