@Kalarlis: sir i need to confiscate all the ice cream in your store yes this is just a costume & i'm not a real cop but no one told me i'm pretty today
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@briangaar: DID YOU KNOW: If you don't eat animal products, you will take it out on everyone else forever?
@DestineyLynn: *Closes refrigerator door and hears contents inside fall* Well... sounds like a problem for the next person.
@Maui_Speaks: Every day the cat climbs a six-foot glass-block wall and watches my wife shower. She thinks it's cute. I do it once and I'm creepy.
@KalvinMacleod: HER: it’s over between us ME: is it because of all my embroidery puns? HER: I thought you would stop ME: sew it seamed