@kyry5: Sir Im sorry I rear ended you but I was focused on not accidentally eating a purple jelly bean and you're handling this really insensitively
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@JWilsonGA: Wife: Your PMS jokes aren't funny. Me: I can't help it, they just flow out of my mouth. Wife: ... Me: Fine. No more. Period. Wife: *eyeroll*
@ElizaBayne: You're not a geek or a nerd because you always have to have the latest high tech gadgets and electronics. YOU'RE RICH
@JVarsityCaptain: My ex can't take his new girlfriend to basketball games because she gets pissed when the whole stadium makes fun of her by yelling REBOUND!