@mdob11: 'Siri, am I an alcoholic?', I whisper into my burrito.
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@bencoffeehall: If peeing was an Olympic event, I would win gold. But then I would miss the awards ceremony because I was taking a leak.
@EndhooS: interviewer: what can u bring to the firm me: [places a tiny cactus on desk & smiles] interviewer: I meant like clients me: [removes cactus]
@Steven37366100: Interviewer: You list excellent negotiator on your resume. Could you provide an example? Me: *slow winks, slides $5 across table* I’m hired