@guybranum: Siri, assemble a list of people who are dead to me.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@duplicitron: What if firemen acted like policemen and just drove around shooting water at anyone who looked like they might catch on fire.
@jctwritesstuff: Me: I only wanted a little mayo! I can't eat this! Him: Does it matter that much? Me: Well, would you like me to stab you a little or a lot?
@CornOnTheGoblin: We have to operate now if the cancer spreads anymore you won't be able to tell the difference between people & food "Are you nuts?" Dear God