@slimmy_shady: SIRI, CALL FOR HELP! Searching for kelp. OMGYOU IDIOT! SIRI, GET AN AMBULANCE! There are 23 listings for lap dance in your area.
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@GoldenSpirals: No matter how prepared you think you are, a retractable vacuum cord will always find the weakness in your defense.
@iAmDelFreaky: I just opened an Easy Bake Oven restaurant. Please call your order in, 17 hours prior to your arrival.
@ChrisStephensMD: Is it safe for Ryan Gosling to wink at a girl that's already pregnant or does it like, poke the baby?