@lilgapeach30: Siri just said I'm looking for love in all the wrong places so I'm tryin to figure out what happened to Siri and how my mom got in my phone.
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@jazmasta: [first day as a doctor] You seem depressed. Also you look underweight, how's your diet? [nurse interrupts me] "Dr that's the model skeleton"
@WildeThingy: I often think if I'd taken a different path in life, I could be lying on a slightly more comfortable sofa right now.
@SissiSay: Psychiatrists say girls tend to marry men like their fathers. That is probably the reason mothers cry at weddings.