@lilgapeach30: Siri just said I'm looking for love in all the wrong places so I'm tryin to figure out what happened to Siri and how my mom got in my phone.
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@chris_isloi: When you give someone a present, unless you say "open it", they're legally not allowed to look inside.
@WillMckenzieNot: At a restaurant: "Would you like a table?" "No, not at all. I came here to eat on the floor. Carpet for 5 please."
@elle91: [Interview] Boss: What's your greatest strength? Me: I'm a risk taker B: Can you give an example? M: *Passionately kisses boss* B: omg
@JohnnyCrash5: [First date & I'm super nervous] Her: Are you ok? Me: yesh. Her: did u just say yesh? Me: um Nosh.