@markydoodoo: "Siri, what are the side effects of Valium?" I mumbled into the tv remote.
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@IncrediblyRich: I'm wearing my big rolled up socks again today and I'm doing so with pride. So all you haters can get in a taxi and chip off.
@Jake_Vig: Some people rescued a great white shark that washed up on a beach, just like sharks would do for us if we were carried out into the ocean.
@thatdutchperson: [Stares deeply into date's eyes before going to the bathroom] "I've counted these fries."
@Papa_Mex: But baby, if you didn't want me climbing in your window, why'd you leave the ladder in the garage behind the workbench chained to the beam?