@markydoodoo: "Siri, what are the side effects of Valium?" I mumbled into the tv remote.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@scenesfromahat: As a man, I honor Christopher Columbus every day of the year by refusing to ask for directions.
@HMittelmark: If somebody at a party tells you they're a writer, get excited, hold up the nearest book, and ask, wide-eyed, "DID YOU WRITE THIS?"
@Reverend_Scott: Don't forget to sacrifice your own personal goals to live up to someone else's expectations today!