@Steelers1972: Million Dollar Idea ~ A bathroom mirror that takes pictures.

@imchriskelly: Someone just tweeted something vague that made me think a celeb had died so I googled "dead." No dice! Thank god---hang in there, celebs!

@Wine_Honey1: The store said to “holla” if I needed help, so crying, I got on the intercom and started screaming “I need wine” & “Save me from these kids, Jesus”. And that’s how I got banned from Target.

@Cpin42: I’m sick of people blaming the Internet when someone gets killed. Watch the History Channel. Hitler didn’t find the Jews on craigslist.

@slimmy_shady: 1) "Obamas spying on you."2) "Eh. Cost of being free!"1) "Obama wants to give you healthcare."2) "WHO THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE IS?"