@Just_Jess_Again: Siri, where are my pants?
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@lasergirl70: I keep checking my bank account like a hungry person checking an empty refrigerator. Neither one is going to magically be full.
@jeffswarens: If you stare at a 6 year old when they're eating a banana split, they hold it real close and eat faster.
@nachosarah: hey joggers instead of those dumb little shorts you should wear batman costumes so I can feel like my neighborhood is protected