@hogrider05: Siri, who's in my trunk?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@theBigMvee: Kid 1 swallows coin: rush to ER Kid 2 swallows coin: wait for it to pass Kid 3 swallows coin: deduct from their allowance
@GrantTanaka: Shoutout to the wife for stacking her shampoo bottles in the shower like she's on her last 3 turns on Jenga.
@TheTweetOfGod: "Al-Qaeda: 'ISIS Goes Too Far'." Ah the Middle East, where al-Qaeda is the voice of moderation.
@JWilsonGA: No, PSA, buzzed driving isn't drunk driving. Buzzed driving gets me home 51 weekends a year, drunk driving gets me home w/a fat chick.