@hogrider05: Siri, who's in my trunk?
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@704919828: Apparently googling "how to get suspended with pay" from my work computer is frowned on by my employer.
@crunchenhanced: Fun tip: Go to carnivals, scatter nuts and bolts around rides to cut down on wait times. *thumbs up*
@Laddy42: I asked my wife if we could get a hot young nanny. Of course she got mad and said "No!". For one thing, we don't have any kids...
@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: We’re playing Star Wars. I’m a Jedi and Mom is a stormtrooper. Me: What am I? 4-year-old: In the way.