@illuminatedwndr: Siri's on her period. she needs an iPad
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@david8hughes: I'm impressed by girls who paint their eyebrows on. How do you pick one facial expression for the whole day? Like what if you find a penny?
@Pirate_nurse: Don't forget to put everybody before her so she has no clue whether you really give a shit or not
@Sean_Burgundy_: [ Skydiving ] Instructor: SIR. You can't just jump out without your equipment on Me: *Shows him text of gf saying "We need to talk"