@ConcernedSirGuy: Sirs & Ma'ams, It is a well-known fact that when Jesus takes the wheel, He doesn't just stop with the wheel. He takes the stereo too.
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@robfee: Lois Lane unexpectedly comes to visit Clark Kent but he can't find his glasses so he has to stick his face in a pie like Mrs. Doubtfire.
@david8hughes: If you see a distressed woman in the street screaming that she can't find her baby, don't offer to help her make another one.
@Home_Halfway: Whenever anyone asks me where I grew up I point to a random spot in the room and say "Over there."
@TheMichaelRock: Whenever you're feeling down and out, just remember that there's people walking around with Twilight tattoos.