@krustythe_klown: Sites that are selling my tweets for money.1. Twitter2. FavStar3. Funny Tweeter <3 you guys!
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@KalvinMacleod: ME: ok doc what's wrong DOCTOR: u have 6 months to live ME: *leans in closer* no what's wrong DOCTOR: it's just u only visit me when ur sick
@SteveSuckington: Some people call me space cowboy. Some call me gangster of love. This one guy calls me Maurice. He sucks at giving nicknames.
@ruinedpicnic: "Sorry but It's me or the label maker." [takes GIRLFRIEND label off her shirt] "Thank y-" [sticks on a label that says EX-GIRLFRIEND]
@WeissBrandon: I get it short people, I get it. Oooops sorry typo, I'll get it short people, I'll get it.