@krustythe_klown: Sites that are selling my tweets for money.1. Twitter2. FavStar3. Funny Tweeter <3 you guys!
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@nbadag: DATE: [whispering in my ear] i've got a secret ME: [also whispering] is it tacos DATE: [giggles] no ME: can it be tacos
@Beardson: There is a small dent on the side of this plane. It must have a... *Puts on sunglasses* "Airline fracture"
@smint: Wearing 'EarPods' is my favorite way of making the rest of the world believe my verbal outbursts are part of a heated phone conversation.
@CloydRivers: If you plant a block of ramen noodles in the ground and water it with cold ones every day, it will grow into a college kid. It's science.