@JasonLastname: Sitting here at Starbucks, everyone looking at their phones and only one person's noticed mine's a calculator.
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@KeetPotato: Yes, I'd like to return this pizza "is there a problem, sir?" *opens box* ITS GOT NO TOPPINGS ON "sir, you've opened the box upside-down"
@tararose711: My 3yo's bedtime stories include: "Three-Hour Run-On Sentence," followed by, "Ask For a Drink 500 Times," and finally, "You Skipped a Page."