@JasonLastname: Sitting here at Starbucks, everyone looking at their phones and only one person's noticed mine's a calculator.
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@jwoodham: All of my passwords are the names of various "Friends" characters. Except for Ross. I've never used Ross. Not after what he did to Rachel.
@adult_keverage: Do you know what's cooler than those fake chains around your license plate? Everything. Every single thing in the world.