@JasonLastname: Sitting here at Starbucks, everyone looking at their phones and only one person's noticed mine's a calculator.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@girl_a_whirl: [Exorcism] Priest: What is your name? Demon: Jim Wife: Jim who owes us $100 or hot Jim? Demon: Nice legs Carol Wife: Let's keep him. Next...
@Beatonm5: So when you say R.I.P. To a dearly departed you are basically saying hey no zombie or walking dead stuff ??
@dumbbeezie: Holiday tip. Always buy people gifts that you would like for yourself in case they piss you off before Christmas
@ddrwg: [Riding a saddled turtle] BATTLE TORTOISE, GOOOO!! [turtle just goes normal speed for turtles] Aww man.