@Sassafrantz: Sitting on my hand until it gets numb so it feels like someone else is folding my laundry.
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@1Happytwit: There's a cat curled up on my pillow, and I'd probably be a lot more cool with that if I actually owned a cat.
@SimplyNamedTron: How to dress like Lady Gaga: 1. Go to ikea. 2. Pick a object that doesn't belong on your head. 3. Put it on your head.
@rikpayne: I just replaced the can of air freshener in the office bathroom with an air horn. And now we wait...
@dru0887: When someone says “No Biggie”, I reply with “not since ‘97” and immediately break down crying