@kaz474: Sitting out in my front yard pointing a hair dryer at speeding cars to see if any slow down.
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@glu_ben: I've limited my friends to 3 people that know how to split a dinner bill w/o causing a fiasco and life has been awesome since.
@chairmanMAO_92: This hot girl asked me to recommend some music so i said Pink Floyd, she said "I didn't know Pink used her last name as well" Now she's dead
@cathisamazing: Based on how I startle when toast pops up, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion.