@kaz474: Sitting out in my front yard pointing a hair dryer at speeding cars to see if any slow down.
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@SlipCarefully: Forgot my phone and had to write my tweets on paper and pass 'em around at the meeting. nnDidn't get any stars. nGot RT'd to HR.
@J0hnnyBlaze: If she didn't reply to any of your 20 texts, she probably doesn't have good cell service. Definitely don't stop texting her
@mommy_cusses: Person: Hi, my name is *my brain plays 3 seconds of air horn* Me: I'm sorry, what was that? Person: I'm *air horn* Me: Again? Person: