@kaz474: Sitting out in my front yard pointing a hair dryer at speeding cars to see if any slow down.
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@TheAlexNevil: Shoulder Devil: So I say "Go on--do it!" And the moron does it! Shoulder Angel: What an idiot! Me: You guys know I can hear you, right?
@theyearofelan: Don't be sad when your exes unfollow you. It just means they'll spend more time manually checking your updates