@hmcpherson17: Sitting outside the dentist office eating Oreos, b/c I think everyone should earn their pay.
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@notalogin: [Interview] CEO: Why do you think you'd be a good fit at our firm? GUY WHOSE DESCRIPTION IS SO LONG HE DOESN'T ACTUALLY GET TO SAY ANYTHING:
@aveuaskew: Is this one haunted? "No" What about that one? "Ma'am, none of the booze is haunted" What kind of wine and spirits store is this?!
@Thynebear: I am the all knowing oracle, you may ask me one question "How do you pronounce quinoa?" [it's just covered in sweat] um can u ask me another
@TheDailyEdge: Jeb Bush: "The Pope should not discuss climate change because he's not a scientist, although if elected, I will be your wife's gynecologist"