@NurseSeymour: "Size DOES matter", I whisper to my double stuffed Oreos.
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@AmishPornStar1: If you accidentally use Pam cooking spray instead of Off... It still works, because the mosquitoes just slide off your legs.
@Notoliviasteel: DOCTOR: u broke ur leg in five places, how did this happen ME:*flashback of me trying to carry too much ice cream up the stairs* bears.
@Mr57percent: The older I get, the more I feel like the town elders in Footloose were actually pretty cool.
@eliyudin: "As a side dish to your burrito would you like all the things that are inside the burrito, again?" - Mexican restaurants