@qqnqui: Skipped the gym today to go to McDonald's. The bus did not come back, so I had to walk 2 miles home. Well played, universe.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@trojansauce: [watching the little mermaid] NEPHEW: mermaids arent real SISTER: not in front of your uncle- ME *slamming down my beer* I KNOW WHAT I SEEN
@RocketRankoon: My ID expired so I can only go to the liquor store where they remember me: the one where I asked the cashier out and threw up on the floor.
@KateWouldHaveIt: Me: <throws caution to the wind> Also Me: <panics and gathers up as many pieces of caution as possible before they scatter>