@Beatonm5: skippin the intro of a game and then realizin you have no idea what the objectives are just walking round aimlessly hoping something pops up
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@KirstenCatClub: Things a raccoon and I have in common: 1) Dark circles around the eyes. 2) Likes eating junk. 3) We're both cute but will kill you.
@Sarcasticsapien: Rejecting someone by saying "you deserve someone better" is a fun way to let a person know you'd rather insult yourself than to date them.
@InternetHippo: [greeting aliens] Hello, we are the smartest animals on this planet. Every week we give the grass a little haircut