@Beatonm5: skippin the intro of a game and then realizin you have no idea what the objectives are just walking round aimlessly hoping something pops up
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@AmberTozer: Girl: Gonna keep having sex with this guy until he changes for me Guy: Can't believe she keeps having sex w/me I better not change a thing
@jimmytorosian: Me: That tree is impeckable "Don't you mean impeccable?" *cut to woodpecker with a broken beak* Me: No. Also how did you pick up on that?
@withanewname: Yoga? No thank you. I'll download an app to my phone so I don't have to stretch for the remote.
@Dr_awfulpants: [Doctor office] -How are you feeling? -Not good. -Any side effects from the medication? *cries tears of fire* -Now that you mention it...