@UNTRESOR: Skrillex! It's your cousin Marvin. Marvin Skrillex! Know that sound you've been looking for? I think I found it! *holds phone up to blender*
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ddsmidt: Meltdowns are what happens when you compartmentalize your thoughts, but forget to label them.
@StevieKnip: [accidentally hits Siri in high school classroom] Siri: what can I do for you, #1 God of Sex? [every boy in the class checks their phone]
@Carbosly: As a kid, I didn't want to get caught misbehaving by my parents. Now I'm a parent. And I don`t want to get caught by my kids.
@brocketxyz: My greatest accomplishment as a father? Teaching my son to scream, "I WANT MOMMY," whenever my wife sends me into his room.