@EyeSeeYou619: Skrillex sounds like that time I threw a bag of beer bottles into an empty dumpster & a homeless dude yelled jibberish at me for waking him.
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@_blotty: Him: you're so beautiful. The moment you smiled at me,u had me Me: that's really sweet Me in my head: I have a piece of my poo in my purse
@Manali_Shetye5: Him:The seven dwarves were on a bus, they all started to feel Sleepy. So Sleepy got off. Me:Oh come on, man! That pun was Dopey!
@bestlizard: A girl who bullied me in junior high just friended me on Facebook. Her three kids are named after trees. I win.