@EyeSeeYou619: Skrillex sounds like that time I threw a bag of beer bottles into an empty dumpster & a homeless dude yelled jibberish at me for waking him.
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@SondraDeeMe: My dance moves are best described as a woman trying to put on pants 4 sizes too small, with a wasp flying around her head.
@RefractReality: I have a feeling his life would have gone in a different direction had his name been Kanye East.
@causticbob: A salesman knocked on my door today. "Who currently provides your Internet?" he asked. I said, "My next door neighbour."
@KentWGraham: How come I need a complex, indecipherable password to get on Twitter but only a 4-digit number to remove all my money from an ATM?