@MiddleageM: Skyped my dad today and had a great conversation with his forehead and nose hairs...
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: The Teen Choice Awards air tonight if you want to see a great reminder of why kids aren't allowed to vote.
@vikkaroni: If you wondered if I was on the naughty list this year, I should probably tell you that the best gift I got was a packing peanut.
@CoolCamel69: "How's your love life?" Well, I went on a date. 45 minutes in I realized it was a turtle in a wig. "I'm sorry man" it's ok. still got laid.
@robknepper: and on the 8th day, god created a website for u to meet the hot christian singles in ur area