@EJGomez: [slams on the brakes]
WHAT DO YOU MEAN LINDSAY LOHAN PLAYED BOTH TWINS IN THE PARENT TRAP
@Gupton68: Not all relationships revolve around physical passion. Some of us are married.
@mattZillaaaa: *lays in bed for 12 hours
I guess I'll get up now
*walks over to couch & lays down
@brocketxyz: My greatest accomplishment as a father? Teaching my son to scream, "I WANT MOMMY," whenever my wife sends me into his room.
@pro_failure: My dog just ate a butterfly and probably saved Tokyo from a tidal wave. I don't understand science.
@JoParkerBear: [in bed]
Him: What are you thinking?
Me: (blushing) I don't wanna say
Him: You can tell me
Me: I wish I knew more about campaign finance law