@zachreinert03: Slasher films are so unrealistic. Anyone could out run a guy walking with a chainsaw. That's why I train running with a chainsaw.
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@heatherlou_: Google just alerted me to light traffic in my area which is odd because I'm in the bathtub.
@VeganZebra: *drinking my first beer with my dad* "I can't believe you made me eat the other ones"
@KThonvold: People who genetically engineer food, why don't you make celery that tastes like Reese's Peanut Butter Cups? I bet that would shut people up
@itsboyschapter: My mother always told me "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all"...and some people wonder why I'm so quiet around them.