@causticbob: sleeping beauty
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@AimeeHelene1: Kid behind me on plane kicking my chair and coloring. *turns around* *grabs one of his crayons* *slowly breaks it* *whispers "you're next"*
@amydillon: OTHER KIDS IN RESTAURANT: Restlessly coloring on a placemat waiting for food. MY KIDS: Have already flipped over a booth & set it on fire.
@iamspacegirl: [Spelling Bee] Judge: Your word is... Grease. Me: Grease is the word? Judge: Yes. Grease is the word that you heard.
@DanMentos: "You did it!" "You did it!" "You did it!" -dog watching me fail to solve a rubiks cube