@TheMichaelRock: Sleeping Beauty was full of shit. No woman is that nice when you wake her up from a nap.
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@sgeezy99: I always leave my front door unlocked on my birthday just in case someone is planning to kidnap me in the morning and take me to breakfast :) so far I’ve had zero birthday breakfasts :) and two Blu-ray players robbed :)
@Brianhopecomedy: Got suspended from Instagram for going on everyone's food pics and posting the calories.