@just1fool: Sleeping with me is a lot like sleeping with a stuffed animal. But that's only after I've eaten Mexican food.
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@UnFitz: We're at the top of the food chain, but let's not be too full of ourselves. After all, some of us can be felled by a single peanut.
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: *Goes to zoo to see the world's oldest tortoise. Guide: He's over 200 years old. How cool is that? *Tortoise says something racist.