@duplicitron: *sleeps with the fishes but does not use condom*
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@GrowlyGrego: *wakes up in cold sweat* SHOULDN'T ELEVATORS BE CALLED SOMETHING ELSE ON THE WAY DOWN?
@Ghetto_Trophy: Hope floats but corpses don't, so remember: bricks or 25 to life. Inspirational tweet.
@beefman138: 3 : Daddy, can we watch Frozen? Me : Sorry, darling. We can't watch Frozen in the summer because all the characters will melt.
@decentbirthday: Barista: Latte for Waldo Barista: Do we have a Waldo here Barista: Where's Waldo Me: *proudly nudging a stranger* I did that