@BabetteJones: Slept with my makeup and now my pillow looks like the shroud of Revlon.
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@Brampersandon_: WIFE: you've had enough ME (eating my 68th breadstick): aw man OLIVE GARDEN MANAGER: let him eat one more lol
@zachreinert03: A lot of people look at Russian roulette as a negative game, but statistically it's actually one of the only games you can't lose twice
@PlagueLovers: My password is "weak?" Well your password recovery security question is soft as shit. The city I was born in? Ask me why my mom left my dad.