@BabetteJones: Slept with my makeup and now my pillow looks like the shroud of Revlon.
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@KalvinMacleod: [new hire intro] BOSS: this is Jim. You've been here how long Jim? JIM: next year will be 10 years ME: *rising from my cubicle* so 9 years
@ThirtyYearOld: Se7en is a great movie even if you haven't seen o1e, 2wo, thr3e, 4our, 5ive or 6ix.
@hello_saylor: Hotel room bathrooms really overestimate how much I want to see my own naked body.
@OrignalceQueen: *Pops up from the backseat as you're driving* *Duct tapes your neck to the head rest* Now, why are you telling people I'm crazy?!!