@Dawn_M_: *slides a cheese slice with my number written on it in your pocket*
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@carlyken: 9: Mom! Where's my Spiderman costume? I want to wear it to the science museum "In your closet, why?" 9: DUH. To attract radioactive spiders!
@myonlymizztake: When you said you wanted to show me a stiff one, I had no idea you worked in a morgue.
@WilliamAder: They found Richard III's skeleton in a parking lot. Time stamp on the ticket stub indicates he owes $8,432,773.
@ArfMeasures: JESUS: And lo, I have fed 5000 of you with 5 fishes and 2 loaves "AMAZING!" "A MIRACLE!" ME: *slowly raises hand* So do we get dessert or