@Dawn_M_: *slides a cheese slice with my number written on it in your pocket*
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Marlebean: I broke up with my boyfriend. He was such a jerk. What a goat! -Don't you mean pig? No. He tried to eat my couch!
@dafloydsta: ME: *opens car door for date like a gentleman* DATE: *running and out of breath* PLEASE STOP THE CAR
@AimeeHelene1: Dad to kid: "Connor, eat your food!" "Eat your food!" "Eat your food!" "Eat your food!" Me: *turns around, eats all of kid's food*