@Dawn_M_: *slides a cheese slice with my number written on it in your pocket*
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@Matt_The_1st: Hot girl in the avatar, but no selfies in your pics. I'm just gonna call you "bro" from now on.
@davedittell: *friend bites off beer bottle cap at party* HONEY! HONEY!! NOW!! NOW!!! *wife jumps out car with a hundred jars from the fridge*
@Sickayduh: "Saying hot is disrespectful. You should say beautiful instead." "Fine. Can you pass me the beautiful sauce then?"