@Laser_Cat: [skywriting] Karen, do you have the checkbook? The skywriting guy won't let me out of the plane until he gets his deposit.

@IamEnidColeslaw: I tell people my parents are divorced, but technically we lost my mom in a corn maze

@Love_bug1016: Kisses are like real estate .... Location Location Location

@Not_YourDentist: Dentist: So, Alexa, how often do you floss? Alexa [nervously]: L-l-low batttterrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyy

@darksidedeb: I accidentally dropped one of my husband's Viagra into my contact solution and now I'm cockeyed.