@NickBossRoss: *slips into milk bath* *starts drinking*
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@aksorojas: fiancé: *marvels at the beauty of the Eiffel Tower* me: will you do me the greatest honor of *looks at smudged writing on hand* murdering me
@GreatestWeight: I can't come into work. I opened a cursed sarcophagus and now I gotta put a pharaoh's soul to rest. I DUNNO, TAD, I'LL PROBABLY BE IN MONDAY
@drinksmcgee: I've decided that I'm just going to sit in my boxers and eat cereal all day. In unrelated news, my coworkers are all staring at me.