@jonnysun: *slips on a banamna peel* *lifts up banamna peel w/ end of pen* somone get the detective,. somwhere out there, theres a nude banana
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@punmagnate: What idiot called it a meal of light colored carnival bus tickets of appropriate price and not a fair fair fair fare fare
@CarolinaSong: That awkward moment when you text a pretty girl, "my shirt smells like you" & you misspell shirt
@causticbob: BREAKING: Swiss Police confirm that, when arrested, all seven FIFA officials threw themselves on the ground and pretended to be injured.
@shutupmikeginn: "Are you already hot as shit? Then you'll look hot as shit in our glasses" - Every glasses ad