@ScottLinnen: Slow down in those corduroy pants. You'll ignite a bush fire.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Try2StopME: I'm going to the gym now. Not bragging. Just want you to know where to send the ambulance.
@WeissBrandon: Oh no sir, that shark wasn't attacking me, my wife was yelling at me from the shore so I was just trying to swim into his mouth.
@_NinJar: I accidentally gave my newborn Muscle Milk instead of formula and now he's blasting Pantera and doing one arm pull-ups off his crib