@ScottLinnen: Slow down in those corduroy pants. You'll ignite a bush fire.
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@robdelaney: Just dyed a bald eagle red, white & blue & forced my family to eat 3 apple pies each. We're all crying. It's awesome.
@CakeThrottle: Garfield creator breaks silence to give impassioned speech. "It's pronounced Jarfield" he says through tears
@CrazyClarine: After Paris my Airbnb host tried to say I stained her sheets & headboard w/ hair dye, but the gag is I don't wear hair to bed.
@david8hughes: [at the aquarium] Son [pointing at a large tank]: daddy what's that Me: tank Son: no what lives in the tank Me: water