@BritXNic: *Slowly breaks up with you, word by word, during a game of Scrabble.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jonnysun: i asked my mom why she was crying and she said because shes choping onions which is sad becuase as a young child she was adopted by onions
@TheMichaelRock: After shaking someone's hand, I like to maintain eye contact while applying hand sanitizer.
@SaraESpivey: My boss just farted. I asked him if he was trying to get the condom out. He's mad now.
@ambamthankyamam: My life coach just asked me leave because apparently she has "other pedicures to do" and doesn't "speak English".