@DaddyJew: *slowly raises hand 20 minutes into an important office meeting* so there are no donuts?
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@KalvinMacleod: [at job interview] It says here that you are very hands on. Yes, sir, I am. Can you give me an example of this? *gently caresses his face*
@JamieGreenlees: I thought it was impossible to do 450 push ups in a minute until I discovered lying
@WheelTod: I'm the outdoorsy type. I hate being chained to a desk all day, but management say they have no choice until I stop biting my coworkers.
@LukeMones: This google docs thing is lame. Whatever happened to those viruses that turned your screen into a laughing skull & shut down the power grid?