@DaddyJew: *slowly raises hand 20 minutes into an important office meeting* so there are no donuts?
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@Bexdora: [Facepainting Booth] Mum: Er...she wanted a butterfly... Me: I only do toads Mum: Well you should say that bef- Me: *taps "TOADS ONLY" sign*
@dafloydsta: INTERVIEWER: Why do you want to work here? ME: *crumbs tumbling from my mouth* Oh, I don't. I was just walking by and saw you had donuts.
@pleatedjeans: worst place to be stung by bees is the club bc it just looks like you're doing cool dance moves & sure u win the dance off but at what cost
@SCbchbum: Friend: I want a baby. Me: Remember when your neighbor was practicing the clarinet at 1AM? It’s like that, but you can’t call the cops.