@theshantilly: *slowly unwraps a candy bar as neighbor talks about her new diet
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@edgarrants: Telling my wife I'm taking her someplace fancy is my way of getting 4 hours to myself while she gets ready.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: "At least Donald Trump says what he thinks." Ah yes if only all racists would shout about it constantly the world would be a better place.
@dafloydsta: How to annoy your children: Me: Don't come in here without knocking Child: Ok *leaves* *knocks* M: Who is it? C: It's me! M: Go away
@DurtMcHurtt: *attaches canes horizontally to dozens of old man walkers *watches slowest jousting match ever