@theshantilly: *slowly unwraps a candy bar as neighbor talks about her new diet
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SamanthaaaReece: Me: today I'm not apologizing for ANYTHING!!!!!! *almost steps on pigeon* Me: omg sorry sorry sorry
@XGibbons: Lifeguard 1: How was your day? Lifeguard 2: Sad, I saw a bear in lake 1: How is that sad? 2: He could bearly swim! 1:.. 2: He ate 3 campers
@Tmoney68: [Cannibal Restaurant] Waiter: Need anything else? Cannibal: No, I'm stuffed. I can't even finish this. Could I get a body bag?
@Smooheed: *signs into Skype meeting with very important clients* *tries to sound incredibly intelligent* *gets attacked by moth* *falls off chair*