@nPhelendriqal: Slugs are obviously snails that have been through a divorce.
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@figgled: Me: don't 🙏🏼 judge 💜 other 🌈 people 💕 be kind ✌🏼😇 Also me: anyone who likes the new Taylor Swift song has a rotten brain parasite
@freypalm: *I describe my lost cat to the cops* Sketch Artist: *draws my cat* Detective Dog: *adds WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE beneath the picture*
@funnybeachgirl: Energizing breakfast smoothie: 1. 2 cups chopped kale 2. 1 ripe banana 3. 1/8 tsp flax oil 4. 1/2 cup coconut water 5. 3 grams of cocaine