@figgled: Small children who dress as Batman must be forced to fight crime. To teach them a lesson, about lying
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@NicestHippo: [Lions watching a romantic comedy about humans] Why doesn't he simply mount her with no apparent warning?
@thetigersez: Dating in your 30s is just two people telling each other stories about how they used to be fun.
@Matty_Lombardo: Me: There has to be a way I can lose weight! Friend: Eat healthy? Exercise? Me: No, that's not it. Keep thinking! We'll figure this out.
@PeachesMcPeach: I'm at my sexiest when I'm at a stoplight and a teenage boy is checking me out then suddenly realizes his horrific mistake.