@_Mo_lee_: Smallpox sounds so adorable
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@UNTRESOR: A shark can sense a drop of blood from 3 miles away, and a mom can sense you're not getting enough to eat from 10,000.
@TeaAndCopy: [SPELLING BEE] JUDGE: Tim, your word is "Oak" TIM: [deep breath] Ok *BUZZER* T: What th– J: So close! It's O-'A'-K T: But… J: Hard luck, kid
@yerpalmildsauce: How did you get those horrible burns? *flashback to me enjoying some hot soup on a rollercoaster* I saved a litter of puppies from a fire.