@_Mo_lee_: Smallpox sounds so adorable
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@behindyourback: *at my funeral* Friend crying over my casket: look they're burying her in her favorite dress Me, still dead: it haaasss pockets
@JasonLastname: First rule of robbing banks is you have to shout, "THIS IS A ROBBERY!" Otherwise they might think it's a baptism.
@ComedicBust: [in a burning building] Johnny Depp: Use my scarves to climb down Me: WHERE DID YOU COME F.. JD: [transforms into a raven and flies away]