@_Mo_lee_: Smallpox sounds so adorable
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@AndyAsAdjective: Boss, I can't come in today. Got a bad case of- *puts hand over phone* -what was it again? Daughter: Boogeritis. *to phone* It's Boogeritis.
@Tmoney68: Me: Where do you want to eat? Her: Wherever you pick is fine. Narrator: Wherever he picked was not fine.
@GreenEyedJedi: I once dated a guy who left a trail of rose petals leading to a sinkful of dirty dishes.
@GrantTanaka: Man buns are just the beginning, next thing you know it’ll be ok for men to have anything on their heads, like a goat or a small child