@forrrestfire: Smart cars are a good idea until you die in a 5 mph parking lot collision
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@neiltyson: Exterminators: The only profession in which you put yourself out of business by being really good at your job.
@thenatewolf: They should make 9-1-2 a number you can call when it's not quite an emergency but you still need to vent. "Hello, Operator? Yeah, there's a bird on my car... No, I'm in the house, but I can see him through the window."
@JimmerThatisAll: This day in history. 1914. The first WWI trenches were dug if you don't count the one my grandfather was already hiding from the officers in
@therealeatwood: ME: Stop hemming and hawing DONKEY TAILOR: [with quiet dignity] Sir, you may take your business elsewhere